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Post by moondog on Mar 3, 2009 15:28:20 GMT -5
OK, look what we have here - ordinary citizens helping each other out when and where they can. This is how it is supposed to work, not the State bailing people out with all sorts of strings attached. You and I get that, but saunterelle and Mink never will. They wrongly believe that it is the responsibility of government. What they don't see is all the dependence on government that is created and nickles and dimes us to death as those nickles and dimes are increased every chance they get. Just like we are facing now with the stick-it-to-us bill. |
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Post by moondog on Mar 3, 2009 15:34:40 GMT -5
And then there are some of us who have relatives (in my case my son), who won't help themselves. Regarding my son, it takes EVERYTHING I have to throw him a bone (not literally, sort of). I am really tired of him repeating the same old sh-- over, and over all the while not accepting full responsibility for his actions, or acknowledging he has Bipolar disorder. He needs to take medication, but thinks he doesn't need it. You know, I would think after spending several months in, ready, wait for it, here it comes... SAN QUENTIN, he would get a f-ing clue! Nope, he was a "victim" of circumstance,, "unfairly convicted" yeah, yeah, yeah, heard it ALL before! I am so DONE! He will be 29 years old this month and it is time to cut the apron strings. Just thought I'd share. I feel better now! ;D To add: Before I get called on it, yes, thread drift. Sorry! Wow, I think we are seeing the birth of a conservative here. Tough love is the hardest to give, but you must do it. In the long run it will help him to make the right choices, or so we would hope. I feel for your burden. Bipolar disorder is difficult to deal with when it is someone you love. Please, be cautious. |
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Post by JustMyOpinion on Mar 3, 2009 16:25:45 GMT -5
moondog (and subdjoe) thank you for your words. Truth is I've been pretty good at tough love for many years with this child (man), but I think I've always had hope that he would "get it" and finally see the light. We have had to set tough restrictions around him coming to our home, we won't allow him to come here unless he is sober/drug free (meth etc) for six months, working, acting like a mature adult. I'd NEVER expected him to become a rocket scientist, or a CEO, just stable and functioning. We have told him over and over we would help him when he decided to help himself, and if not he was on his own. I have refused him a place to stay (as an adult) when he was using, he had to go to a shelter at one point and I could tell a few more tales, but won't bore you. The hardest part of being so "tough" is I know he has a disorder and will always struggle to find his way. This time has been harder I think because he has been exposed to a tougher group of people, and has connections that I want NO part of. He did his best to try and guilt me into picking him at SQ, take him to breakfast, drive him to a program to which I responded "no, you're not a little boy that went to summer camp. You got yourself there, you get yourself out." He did call us drunk out of his mind the first night out, and that was concerning, but he did contact his PO and checked into a detox center for 3 days, and by now should be in a rehab center. It is difficult no matter what the circumstance to force your child to feel the pain (or no gain) and as I get older it is even more wearing and that's because I have just about lost ALL hope.
This forum is good for such dialog since only a couple of people in my non-virtual life know where he was, or what he's about. I could never tell others that know me because sadly I would be stereotyped into something I am not. We are honest, law abiding citizens and own no part of his deviant behavior, unfortunately society likes to associate the two. Life is weird sometimes.
moondog, you are right to advise caution, and believe me I am cautious and ready to react. It has been nice that he was secured somewhere because I didn't feel the need to be on guard, and now I have to find the energy to be on alert.
I know you all think because I have compassion for children in need, or people that struggle somehow I am a bleeding heart without boundaries, just not true. My desire is to see people get preventive care before they end up like my son, or so far beyond help they are lost forever. I support people who need and wish to better themselves by education, mental health care, daycare for single mothers/after school care etc. I know all too well that many people can't be helped, but some are worth the time and investment! Ok, and MANY aren't!
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Post by JustMyOpinion on Mar 3, 2009 16:30:20 GMT -5
To add: Do I think people should be bailed out of the housing mess? Mostly not. It's not that I don't have heart, but many over extended themselves and lived beyond their means, and...
As far those that want to re-fi for lower interest/payments, I'm for that. Why not allow them to continue ownership rather than letting the home go into default. To me that's a win-win (so long as they can pay).
To add: I think borrowers should have to pay the full purchase price, they will just have to live in that house for at least 10-15 years and then sell if they want. If a buyer made the decision to buy a house he/she should know real estate just like anything else is cyclical and should be considered a long term investment. I don't want to pay for someone else's learning curve.
No throwing eggs please...
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Post by moondog on Mar 3, 2009 17:23:14 GMT -5
I don't think it is right that people who have been making their payments suddenly are held hostage by banks getting bailouts. Those banks made the bad loans, based on a government criteria which was issued in the Clinton era that was intended to see more minorities with houses. However, it was a poorly designed criteria and it lead to these bad loans. Why should people who have been making their payments suddenly be held hostage? If the Feds forced them to make all these loans into 30 year fixed rate mortgages it could save a lot of them.
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Post by jgaffney on Mar 4, 2009 16:15:40 GMT -5
So, how do you sort the honest, mortgage-paying populace from the folks who either gambled on flipping the house, or re-fi'ed themselves into the poor house? Unfortunately, no government program could ever be that selective. Think of a flyswatter versus a sledge hammer.
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Post by moondog on Mar 4, 2009 16:39:02 GMT -5
So, how do you sort the honest, mortgage-paying populace from the folks who either gambled on flipping the house, or re-fi'ed themselves into the poor house? Unfortunately, no government program could ever be that selective. Think of a flyswatter versus a sledge hammer. I don't buy the refinance argument. Pulling a bit of equity out of your house is better then using a credit card. The problems began when the housing bubble burst, due to the manipulation of that very market by our government. People who were looking to change into a better loan, such as from a variable rate to a fixed rate were screwed, even though they selected a viable path at the time. Government manipulation and irresponsibility caused this more then anything else. They allowed the market to crash when there were signs of trouble and they could have prevented the crash. Now we have the fall out and it will be much more costly then it would have been. All to generate a political business cycle for one party. |
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