Senior Citizens

[jgaffney]

An elderly couple became good friends while living at a nursing home. Their relationship progressed from chats in the dining room to holding hands to dinner dates. The gentleman finally worked up the nerve to ask the lady if she would marry him. First, though, he wanted to determine their compatibility. He asked her, "How do you feel about intercourse."

The woman answered, "I like it infrequently."

The gentleman adjusted his glasses, then asked, "Is that one word or two?"

[digger]

LOL, that's a good one.

[JustMyOpinion]

I'll have to store that one away for the future! Funny!

[mrbose]

A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along.
When the doctor enters the examination room he says,'I will need a urine sample,a stool sample,and a
sperm sample.The man, being hard of hearing,turns to his wife and asks,'What did he say?'
The wife yells back to him,'GIVE HIM YOUR
UNDERWEAR!'

[Mink]

Bless those Seniors........that was precious! ;D

[subdjoe]

An older gentleman has an appointment to see the urologist, who shares offices with several other doctors.

The waiting room was filled with patients.

As he approached the receptionist desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large, unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo Wrestler.

He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, 'YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?'

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.

He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO, I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'

DON'T MESS WITH OLD FOLKS..

and


Then there was the 80-year old man who went to the doctor to have a vasectomy. His wife had died some years before and he had married a 25-year old who appreciated "maturity." To make sure that he didn't have any young ones to raise, he decided on the procedure.

When he showed up at the doctor's office for this in-patient procedure, he was dressed in a Tuxedo. The doctor was surprised and asked why. The man replied,

"If I'm going to be impotent, I want to LOOK impotent!"

and yet another

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped.. Furthermore she kept staring at him.


She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, 'I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease;
it's just that you look so much like my late son.'

He answered, 'That's okay.'

'I know it's silly, but if you'd call out 'Good bye, Mom' as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy.'

She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, 'Goodbye, Mom.'

The little old lady waved, and smiled back at him..

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries..

'That comes to $121.85,' said the clerk.

'How come so much .. I only bought 5 items...'

The clerk replied, 'Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too.'

[mrbose]

You gotta do this........ ......... ..


THIS IS INCREDIBLE.. .. Read all the Numbers... Slowly and in Order!!
Be Careful not to MISS ANY
1
2
3
4
5
6
7

8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26

27

28
29

30
Finished?
Scroll down ............ ........

GOOD ! TOMORROW I'LL SEND YOU THE ABC's ! It takes so little to amuse old people

[Mink]

HHmmm, here I was counting so fast...... it must be a good exercise for some oh well, I guess we all get there (cute)

[mrbose]

This news just in:

All of the Wal-Marts across Alabama sold out of ammunition as of yesterday.

A reliable source said that one of the purchasers commented that while Russia may have invaded Georgia , they sure as heck ain't doin' it to Alabama .
;D

[mrbose]

This may be the best Living Will I've Seen
I,________ 8-)_________, smart person, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:
Glass of water
Chocolate
Margarita
Sex
Cold Beer
Beef Stew
Chocolate
Chicken fried steak
Ice Cream
Soda Pop
Sex
Mexican food
A Guitar
Chocolate
French fries
Chocolate
Pizza
Sex
Ice cream
Italian Food
Chocolate
Sex
Chocolate
Sex
Chocolate
It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the 'fat lady sing,' and call it a day! ;D