Romance Mathmatics and other things to ponder

[ferrous]

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU
KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.

[Mink]

Thanks Ferrous....I believe I will share this one

[Mink]

This information may be something to remember/ponder, as this season will soon
be here
again...

It might be wise to carry a penny in your pocket while working
in the yard......... BEE STINGS !

A couple of weeks ago, I was stung by both a bee and hornet while
working in the garden.

My arm swelled up, so I went to the doctor. The clinic gave me cream
and an
antihistamine. The next day the swelling was getting progressively
worse, so I
went to my regular doctor. The arm was Infected and needed an
antibiotic.The doctor told me - ' The next time you get stung, put a
penny on
the bite for 15 minutes'.

That night, my niece was stung by two bees. I looked at the bite and it
had already started to swell. So, I taped a penny to her arm for 15
minutes. The next morning, there was no sign of a bite. We decided that
she just wasn't allergic to the sting.

Soon, I was gardening outside. I got stung again, twice by a hornet on
my left hand. I thought, here I go again to the doctor for another
antibiotic.

I promptly got my money out and taped two pennies to my bites, then sat
and sulked for 15 minutes. The penny took the string out of the bite
immediately.

In the meantime the hornets were attacking, and my friend was stung on
the thumb. Again the penny. The next morning I could only see the spot
where the hornet had stung me. No redness, no swelling. My friend's
sting was the same; couldn't even tell
where she had been stung.

She got stung again a few days later upon her back---cutting the grass!
And the penny worked once again.

Wanted to share this marvelous information in case you experience the
same problem. We need to keep a stock of pennies on hand .

The doctor said that the copper in the penny counteracts the bite. It
definitely works!

Please remember and pass this information on to your friends, children,
grandchildren, etc.