Post by subdjoe on Jun 4, 2009 12:19:41 GMT -5
Gun Toting Liberals blog:
I was tending bar the other day at the Mayberry Rightwing Deathsquad Softball League© lodge, minding my own business as I always do, when in burst Barney.
“Mohammed H Prophet, have you heard what the “Obamanation” is up to now?” Barney shrieked.
“Why no” I replied as I worked on perfecting my rum/coke/lime masterpiece.
“He’s a communist, he’s the devil, he is. We’re going to be a socialist hell, car companies and banks owned by demons, mandatory abortions and gay orgies, Klingon wives for us all, LSD laced milk for pre-schoolers.”
“So” I replied in my most non-plussed tone.
“Ack….urg..ack..For the love of God man, HE’S THE ANARCHIST”. Barney at this point looked like the world’s angriest teacup poodle crossed with a bulimic supermodel.
“Barn, are you still pissed because they won’t let you waterboard Otis anymore?”I asked with my usual good natured cynicism. Barney replied with:
“Ack….ack….He’s..ack..the ..ack..ANARCHIST”. Thus began my speech.
“First of all Barn, it’s ANTI-CHRIST. ..And no he isn’t. Just FYI the Anti-Christ would know much more about economics than President Obama. Hell, my goldfish knows more about economics than President Obama. Not that said ignorance is a disqualification for high office. President Bush knew more about cedar chopping than economics, at least based on his time spent working on it. No, my friend, our nation has elected something much worse; we have elected a true politician. Where the Anti-Christ may be expected to deliver us to ruin based on evil, our President will deliver us to ruin based on politics.” I sat back, smug in the knowledge of my rum/coke/lime based delivery. Barney replied with:
“But he’s nationalizing cars, and porn and hookers and fireworks.” I sighed and responded.
“Barn, the man is an idiot. Not evil, just dumb. He cannot see the tree of salvation for the forest of regulations. If he were standing here now I would suggest a modest proposal. Since government expenditures will be both his and our undoing, let’s set the median government wage at the median national wage that would be about $32,000 a year. Then let’s see how government expenditures work out. I think it is absolutely insane to ask private sector workers to sacrifice and fund an out of control federal budget, while those same workers are (if they still have jobs) eating beans and rice and staying home every weekend, while federal workers eat steak and go on “jaunts” to wherever they please. After this we ask that all government sacrifice 10%. This may come out of overall budgets or wages, matters not. What does matter is that this country realizes that when the citizens that make it work must suffer so to must those that derive their salariesfrom those citizens. One of the insanities of our current government is that anything less than what they request in their budget is called a cut. The other insanity is that their services are vital. Just so they know, vital is food for a family, clothing and a roof over their head. Everything else is gravy. Our national problem is that we have been spoiled by our success for so long that we have lost sight of what really is vital. ”At this point Barney left to go arrest jaywalkers and I got back to my rum and coke experiments.
I was tending bar the other day at the Mayberry Rightwing Deathsquad Softball League© lodge, minding my own business as I always do, when in burst Barney.
“Mohammed H Prophet, have you heard what the “Obamanation” is up to now?” Barney shrieked.
“Why no” I replied as I worked on perfecting my rum/coke/lime masterpiece.
“He’s a communist, he’s the devil, he is. We’re going to be a socialist hell, car companies and banks owned by demons, mandatory abortions and gay orgies, Klingon wives for us all, LSD laced milk for pre-schoolers.”
“So” I replied in my most non-plussed tone.
“Ack….urg..ack..For the love of God man, HE’S THE ANARCHIST”. Barney at this point looked like the world’s angriest teacup poodle crossed with a bulimic supermodel.
“Barn, are you still pissed because they won’t let you waterboard Otis anymore?”I asked with my usual good natured cynicism. Barney replied with:
“Ack….ack….He’s..ack..the ..ack..ANARCHIST”. Thus began my speech.
“First of all Barn, it’s ANTI-CHRIST. ..And no he isn’t. Just FYI the Anti-Christ would know much more about economics than President Obama. Hell, my goldfish knows more about economics than President Obama. Not that said ignorance is a disqualification for high office. President Bush knew more about cedar chopping than economics, at least based on his time spent working on it. No, my friend, our nation has elected something much worse; we have elected a true politician. Where the Anti-Christ may be expected to deliver us to ruin based on evil, our President will deliver us to ruin based on politics.” I sat back, smug in the knowledge of my rum/coke/lime based delivery. Barney replied with:
“But he’s nationalizing cars, and porn and hookers and fireworks.” I sighed and responded.
“Barn, the man is an idiot. Not evil, just dumb. He cannot see the tree of salvation for the forest of regulations. If he were standing here now I would suggest a modest proposal. Since government expenditures will be both his and our undoing, let’s set the median government wage at the median national wage that would be about $32,000 a year. Then let’s see how government expenditures work out. I think it is absolutely insane to ask private sector workers to sacrifice and fund an out of control federal budget, while those same workers are (if they still have jobs) eating beans and rice and staying home every weekend, while federal workers eat steak and go on “jaunts” to wherever they please. After this we ask that all government sacrifice 10%. This may come out of overall budgets or wages, matters not. What does matter is that this country realizes that when the citizens that make it work must suffer so to must those that derive their salariesfrom those citizens. One of the insanities of our current government is that anything less than what they request in their budget is called a cut. The other insanity is that their services are vital. Just so they know, vital is food for a family, clothing and a roof over their head. Everything else is gravy. Our national problem is that we have been spoiled by our success for so long that we have lost sight of what really is vital. ”At this point Barney left to go arrest jaywalkers and I got back to my rum and coke experiments.