Post by Joe Cocker on Jul 13, 2014 10:54:49 GMT -5
Your laugh for the day!
A few days ago my best friend from high school sent me a ' Viet Nam
Veteran' cap. I never had one of these before, and I was pretty hyped
about it, especially because my friend was considerate enough to take
the time to send it to me.
Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in
particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I
retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Walmartians is always
good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after
seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, I
digress... enough of my psychological fixations.
While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably
in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?"
"No," I replied.
"Then why are you wearing that cap?"?
"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812." I thought it
was a snappy retort.
"The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?"
God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936," I
answered as straight-faced as possible.
He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call
it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?"
"It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was
beginning to be way fun!
"Dude! Really?" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that
COOOOL?"
I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in
a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the
mission." (ref 'black op')
"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that
is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"
"Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage."
The moron nodded knowingly.
"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone
about this. It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't have said
anything."
"Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's gonna
happen if I do?"
With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We
wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?"
The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door.
By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack she
was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.
After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw Dimwit leaning in
a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he
started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly'
serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale,
jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.
What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back with my Homeland Security
cap.
Then the next day I will go to the license agency and wear my Border
Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty the place.
Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of cap!
We may grow OLDER--yet we definitely have FUN.....ENJOY...a little
LAUGHTER is GOOD for the SOUL.....LOL.
A few days ago my best friend from high school sent me a ' Viet Nam
Veteran' cap. I never had one of these before, and I was pretty hyped
about it, especially because my friend was considerate enough to take
the time to send it to me.
Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in
particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I
retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Walmartians is always
good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after
seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, I
digress... enough of my psychological fixations.
While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably
in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?"
"No," I replied.
"Then why are you wearing that cap?"?
"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812." I thought it
was a snappy retort.
"The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?"
God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936," I
answered as straight-faced as possible.
He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call
it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?"
"It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was
beginning to be way fun!
"Dude! Really?" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that
COOOOL?"
I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in
a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the
mission." (ref 'black op')
"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that
is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"
"Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage."
The moron nodded knowingly.
"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone
about this. It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't have said
anything."
"Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's gonna
happen if I do?"
With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We
wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?"
The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door.
By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack she
was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.
After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw Dimwit leaning in
a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he
started pointing excitedly in my direction. Giving him another 'deadly'
serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale,
jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.
What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back with my Homeland Security
cap.
Then the next day I will go to the license agency and wear my Border
Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty the place.
Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of cap!
We may grow OLDER--yet we definitely have FUN.....ENJOY...a little
LAUGHTER is GOOD for the SOUL.....LOL.