Dear Abby: I've always wanted to trace my family history but I can't spend a lot of money on it. Any suggestions?
Sam
Dear Sam: Register as a Republican and run for office.
Abby
"Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."